Mind Tricks your Future Self Needs..
I was talking with a friend the other day about making decisions - small ones and big ones. He (wisely) said, many of us are very used to making decisions based on our present self - that is, what we want, at that moment. We are not as used to making decisions based on our future self. What our present self wants - the wine, the trip, avoiding the discomfort of saying No or disappointing people - could bring us closer to what we want in our future. But it also can, and often does, bring us further away. I also find that the more my present self wants to treat myself with certain foods, drinks, trips away or other consumption habits, the more I want to escape my present life. And the more I need to prioritize making my present life one that I want to inhabit more, and escape from less. :)
Our future self may want a thriving business, a healthy body that feels great every morning, self- confidence, or good, loving relationships. Most of these things our future self wants are slow in the coming, have a non-linear growth curve, require us to learn new skills and definitely require us to say NO to things we used to always say YES to.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race.
In the U.S., we have a childrens’ fable called The Tortoise and the Hare where a hare and a tortoise race one another. The hare is cocky and over-confident and thinks for sure he will win a race against such a slow-moving creature as a turtle. So cocky, in fact, that he runs a bit then decides to stop and take a leisurely nap, certain that even then, he can easily outpace the turtle. The tortoise stays at his steady and slow pace, overtaking the hare napping on the side of the road and wins the race.
This fable offers a lot in a few words. It points to our cultural tendency to rush to the finish. To think that faster is better. That results should come quick. That fast fires are better than slow burns.
In my experience, while slow and steady offers no rush of adrenaline (which, remember, is a stress hormone), we “win” a lot when we have a long vision and comfortable walking shoes suitable for going the long distance. And we don’t burn ourselves in the rush to the finish.
Anyone building something lasting - whether that is a new business, building a healthier body, learning a new language, skill or field of study knows that. We just aren’t as used to making decisions based on what our Future Self wants when what the Present Self wants is right in front of our face and looks oh-so-inviting.
A tool I have been using lately which has helped me to make present choices for my future self is visualization and self-hypnosis. While it is tough to describe verbally, I visually walk myself through the future space I want to live/work/be in.
What is around me?
What does it look like?
Where am I living?
Who am I talking to?
What conversations are we having?
The question prompts help me to feel in my body how I want to feel even if my circumstances are not there yet. Because the brain doesn’t know the difference between an event which actually happened versus what we desire to happen, we start to create a positive feedback loop that feels like it already happened. Like it is already our present. When I repeat this visualization over and over, it feels like I am making decision more for my present reality, which feels easier :). It’s a mind trick! But it works!