How to Get What You Want and Stop Replaying What You Don't..

I went through a hard time about 6 months ago and went through a bad breakup which had me doubting a lot of things about myself that I never really doubted. I got into a bit of a negative self talk and self doubt spiral. Luckily because of the work I do, I know these periods are temporary and also knew I needed to address my mindset stat. I learned the concept of gratitude mining from a mentor of mine who studied under James Doty, one of the nation’s top nueroscientists and nuerosurgeons who also happens to be a seasoned meditator and a teacher of the science of manifestation. Yup it is a science. Not just woo woo. All I can say is this is the best mental habit I have picked up in years!

Gratitude mining is using our senses (writing, hearing, speaking out loud and feeling) to train our minds to “value tag” what we want more of and helps us work against our negative default setting. It works like this..

The brain has a built-in “autopilot” mode called the Default Mode Network (DMN)—this is the part of the brain that is active when you’re daydreaming, thinking about yourself, or replaying past events. It’s like the background music of your mind, shaping your self-perception and the stories you tell yourself.

We would call this the Atman or “small self” talk in yoga philosophy. When you’ve had past failures, disappointments, or criticisms, your brain records them like a playlist. Over time, this can create negative self-talk—thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed.” These thoughts come from the DMN, reinforcing patterns of fear and self-doubt.

This happens because of neuroplasticity, which means your brain rewires itself based on repeated experiences and thoughts. The thing is the DMN can’t distinguish between something real or imaginary. Something that happened in the past or something we fear happening. It sees these the same. If you constantly think negative thoughts, the neural pathways for negativity get stronger—like a well-worn hiking trail in your brain.

Since the brain is plastic (changeable), you can retrain it to think in a way that aligns with what you want. This is where gratitude mining comes into play for me. But that’s just one of many methods. Here is how it works. What are your regular negative thought patterns you are looking to ditch? Common ones are: I will never be successful or have enough money, I will never find love, my body is always failing me/against me, I have to work very hard to have money/love/health, nothing comes easy for me.

Choose a few of these to focus on. Let’s say it is money. Every day as you wake up think and see in your minds eye information that contradicts your negative talk around money. Write down all money which came into your hands - paychecks, friends buying you a coffee or flowers, birthday presents, pennies or euro coins you find on the street, all money coming in at any amount from any source. In writing it down, first you are providing new and contradictory information which negates your neagativity bias.

Second, you are expressing thanks for the money that comes into your life. Why would you get more of that thing if you don’t even appreciate what you have? Third, you are training your mind to expect that more of this comes because you are starting to see it as normal. How things are for you. Extra points if after writing it down you say it out loud and then visualize and feel into your body how it feels to have what you want - a full bank account, a loving relationship, an energetic body.

When we feel it in the body and engage all senses in this experience, James Doty says the brain experiences this “virtual reality” as material reality. The more you do this, the stronger the new, positive neural pathways are and the brain rewires faster because the positive nueral pathways are linked to positive emotions. The positive emotions rewire the brain faster.

Your thoughts shape your brain. By recognizing negative patterns, consciously choosing new thoughts, and reinforcing them with repetition and emotion, you can rewire your brain for confidence, success, and manifestation. It’s all about training your mind to focus on what you want, instead of what you fear. We know this from yoga philosophy, so this is “old news” rather than new news. But it’s nice to have a tangible practice to see how it can play out in your life. I am teaching some of these techniques on retreat and with my 1:1 nutrition clients, so check in if you want to learn more.

Happy manifesting..

Kari